Monday, February 21, 2011

....coretan hatiku.....penantian satu penyeksaan

semakin hari semakin susah untuk aku terima semua ujian nie....sangat susah perjalanan hidup ku....macam2 dugaan yang aku dapat,lepas satu2 ujian mai kat aku...mmg laa lumrah kan semua ni,tuhan nak uji aku tapi sampai bila semua nie harus jadi kat aku..sampai bila aku kena terima semua dugaan nie..sampai bila aku perlu hilang orang2 yang aku sayang..sampai bila....aku inginkan ketenangan,aku inginkan kebahagiaan...aku inginkan belaian kasih sayang dari seorang yg menyayangi diriku....aku inginkan diriku yg dulu..yg sentiasa kuat untuk menghadapi semua segala ujian untuk aku..tapi aku x sekuat dulu....aku hancur sbb lelaki...lelaki yg x pernah menghargai diri ku dan cintaku....hari2 aku berdoa untuk dapatkan cinta dia balik...hari2 aku xpernah lupakn dia...aku sentiasa fikirkan dia setiap saat...dulu dia selalu mcj aku..dulu dia selalu call aku...dulu dia selalu care pasal aku...dulu dia sentiasa nak bersama aku...dulu if dia sakit aku lah ubat dia....tue semua dulu.....sekarang mcj,call semua tu xlagi selalu.....nak layan aku pon mcm nak xnak ja....even dia layan aku mcm tu aku ttp happy ...sbb aku masih bleyh text dia...dia x lyan aku sgt kadang2 aku sedih++kecewa tapi aku typu diri aku..aku pura2 aku okayh...aku ttp layan dia jgak..aku ttp tggu dia....tapi sampai bila???
kadang dia langsung xingat aku...aku ckp mcm tu sbb dia xpnh text aku dulu sekarang nie...sbb tu aku taw dia xpernah ingt aku.....aku syg dia...aku syg dia sorang ja...aku xdak sapa...aku keseorangan...kat sini aku xde kawan2 yg rapat dgn aku...aku sorang2 hidup tanpa kawan2 disisi,tanpa org tercinta di sisi sgt perit bgku....
aku perlukan dia sekarang...aku perlukan dia di sisi aku...aku syg dia.....aku nak dia...hmm.....


.bila aku boleyh meminta
 ku ingin tahu semua yang ada
di sisi hatinya untukku
semakin aku mengenalnya 
seakan aku x bisa lepas darinya
tuhan ku pasrahkan diriku 
untuk menerima semua jalan hidupku ini 
     mengikut apa yang kau tunjukkan jalan kepadaku.....

'TuHan BEriE Aku CinTa

walau aku senyum bukan beerti,
aku selalu bahagia dalam hari
ada yang xada di hati ini....di jiwa ini.....hampaa..
ke bertemu sang adam di simpang hidupku
mungkin akan ada cerita cinta
namun ada saja cubaan hidup seakan aku hina
tuhan berikanlah aku cinta
untuk temani ku dalam sepi tangkap aku dalam terangmu
biarkanlah aku punya cinta
tuhan berikanlah aku cinta
aku juga berhak bahagia
berikan restu dan halalmu
tuhan beri aku cinta
                                                  

Saturday, February 19, 2011

dugaan++++++++++sadness

part1: everything i do its just for him.....
          everything i feel is about him....
          everything i need just only him...
          everything about him is everything belong to me


part2: If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
          If I hadn't liked you, I wouldn't love you.
          If I wouldn't love you, I wouldn't miss you.
          But I did, I do and I will.
          
I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more. 

"If you really want to get revenge on the 'other woman', go to church, get in touch with your God and your own spirituality, take really good care of your children, keep your health and appearance in top form, go back to school and take some classes, work with your therapist on understanding what has happened and how you can cope with it best, and then proceed to live your life by the highest possible standards you can muster, with either the bible or just very high morals and values as your roadmap. That'll show the skank who really matters!" Beth from the Infidelity Board..

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.

Always do what is right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.

Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted.

Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you.

If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.

Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don't deserve me. They're right, you don't deserve me, but I deserve you.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.

I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

promise????all people can make own promise but hard to them untuk tunaikannya....

time????i will give u 3 month to decide me o him to b ur lorved.....

u do all this because of me..
u fight wif ur frenz because of me...
u missing all ur frenz because of me...
all the people talk a bad about u because of me....
so think bout dat.....
choose the best one to be ur love...
me o him????
i will wait 4 ur answer....

decide to breake with helal.....
because of him....(ijan)
but in fact im heartless....

im do all bcause of him..
but he not appreciate me...
useless!!!!

part 3: pliss 4got me,find the guy better then me.....
            i have my own reason do all dis....
            i still lurve u forever...
            but pliss uderstand wif my condition now..
            im suffer......

part 4: crying++++++++++alone.........

Friday, February 18, 2011

just a dream


i cant stand without u..i try my best to 4got all dis but im lose!!IF can i want u evryday wif me,texting me,talk wif me,hear ur voice,i want all back...pliss if not i will pain for evryday...i know its hard to u to do all dis but its hard for me too to accpted all dis..i damn hope dat my dear..im nothing without u..im alone,i will suffer for everyday.i will die wif all diz....i miss you...i miss our moment....



"If I could control my heart, I would stop it from falling in love with you."

"If a tear fell from my eyes each time I thought of you, I would have a puddle of fallen wishes."

"How do I make my heart start healing when it has never stopped beating for you?"

"If I could have one lifetime wish, one wish that would come true, I'd pray to God with all my heart, for yesterday...and you!"





Wednesday, February 16, 2011

happy+sadness

dugaan2...setiap manusia mesti ada dugaan yg dihadapi sama ada sukar untuk kita terima ujian dariNya dgn sabar atau pon x.....hari nie aku bukan diri aku yg sbelom nie,aku x sekuat ain yg dulu.aku lemah tanpa dia,aku lemah bila semua org2 yg aku syg akn pergi tinggalkan aku....cukup laa yg mana pernah hilang dulu,aku cuba untuk kuatkan semangat terima ujian nie tapi aku gagal...aku xboleyh kawal emosi aku..aku terllu ikotkan hati sampai aku berani mkn ubt,1st time sejarah dlm hidup aku,aku jadi mcm nie sbb seorang lelaki...seorang lelaki yg tiba2 hadir dalam hidup aku,yg selalu happykan aku...tapi semua hancur bila ada pihak yg tidak selesa dgn hubungan kami..yg tidak suka aku bersamanya....aku sanggup di hina sbb dia,aku sggup terima semua kata2 org dkt aku,tapi dia x sanggup..dia xsanggup tgok org mgata aku.....dia xnak seksa hidup aku...


ijan dialah sahabat,dialah penyeri hidupku,dan dia jgak musuh ku.....dia segalanya.....aku x myalahkan takdir yg menimpa diriku,aku cuba untuk terima dgn sebaik n seredzo yg bleyh...aku cuba phm why semua nie berlaku,aku cba dgr wat the reason he give 4 me..semuanya ada sbb dia...aku xlaa byak sgt sweet moment dgn dia tapi blwyh dikatakan everywex aku akn pergi jumpa dia....dia baek...dia jaga aku...ermm aku mmg xsanggup kehilangan dia...aku xsanggup untuk berhadapan dgn semua nie...hari2 ke depan apa akn jadi antara kami..aku x taw...semua tu hanya tuhan ja yg tau....punca pergaduhan semua sbb dari mlt kawan2...
tapi if suatu hari dia sedar yg aku bttol2 perlukan di ada dgn aku buat masa skunk dia akn menyesal waktu tu..sbb dia xda time aku sedih...aku mengis sorang2..aku teseksa sorang2....kalo mmg aku dgn dia xdak jdh aku harap kami bleyh jadi sahabat...tapi semua tu ssh juga untuk aku terima....hmm nsb aku mmg mcm nie...
aku takot satu je,skunk aku dah syg dia spenuh hati..tapi dia tggalkan aku....n tiba2 nnty dia cari aku blik tyme tu aku x berani janji cinta aku masih untuknya atau tidak...mmg aku syg dia,mmg aku cinta dia,tapi if org dah buang kita watpe kita nak ingt lagi kan....


                                                   
        he said    : i lurve you so much!!but i can't stand it anymore,
                        i can't see u pain wif me... 
                        i hate myself make u pain bcoz of me...
                        i miss you wen u far from me
                        u came to my life n give me a light again,
                        but it just 4awile..smbdy not like us 2gether...
                        im still loving you ain...don b like a kid..
                        dont do smtg yg xelok...think boutt urself dear...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

meet my bff

penyeri baru dalamm hidupku.....aku hilang
dua orang kawan n aku dpt balik dua
orang kawan baru yg menggantikan tempat
dian n fyra..tapi aku xpernnah lpakan
mereke...still angap bff aku...
tenks to god ntuk semua nie...
hanna,ann hope we can b bff yg plg best k...
i lurve u all damn fucking much!!!!








hanna my bestie

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

janji tinggal janji

video

:broken heart:

..aku xthn dah kali nie aku btul2 terluka+kecewa,marah+sdeyh semua...haty aku hancur!!!!tenks helal untuk semua nie,tenkss!!!!!terbaekk arr kau buat aku mcm nie...mmg x sangka.tapi xpa aku redzo atas semua yg terjadi cuma aku mitak tlg ckp why u buat semua nie dkt aku!!!why???he blog aku kat fb di n he buat xtaw n x mgaku!!!kejam!!sampai hati u helal!!!u lbeyh kjam dri dia!!!i ingt u x mcm dia tapi u sama ja!!!okay fine if dah xnak lpaskan i xpyh seksa i mcm nie.......sumpah aku terasa...xpela u bleyh buat apa yg u nak slagi u mampu tapi ingt semua nie akn jadi blik dkt u n u akn rsa apa i rasa...i x mtk untuk u rasa tapi semua nie lumrah....
HELAL AZIM sumpah aku xkan ingt pasal u lagi!!!aku akn cba lupakan dia untuk selamanya!!



:biarkanlah ku sendiri,
meneruskan hidup tanpamu di sisi,
ku relakan dikau pergi,
andai itunya mahumu,
ku menganggap ianya adalh ujian darinya,
tiada jodoh di antara kita..
aku pasrah aku redzo dgn apa yg terjadi,
ku doakan agar dikau bhagia disampingnya....